Reflections and a new plan for our trip

Life is unpredictable. God made men different than women, and often/occasionally they need to pull away to gain back their purpose, meaning, and autonomy; otherwise, they'll always be pulling away. It's just part of their natural cycle, and I thank the author of "Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus", chapter 6 for this new insight. And that is why God gave us/women little children; they never need to pull away seemingly, and seem to be in need of constant attention, love, support and understanding or they will inevitably suffer. Even considering a woman's need to be close though, even I need space, or long for space from my own children, but it doesn't mean I love them any less and being away on my own helps me to remember regain awareness of who I really am and allows me to be a better mom as I tend to and nurture my own needs. Men need space too, just more dramatically and in a different way (completely solitary). Also, think of it this way, if we as women, constantly give to others without tending/making time for ourselves, eventually we have burn out. Men need to tend to their inner selves too and nurture their own autonomy to feel their strength and ability to accomplish things on their own (which is very important to them). I've always felt the underground tug saying, "you need to give like a car without an oil/emotional needs refill (but go ahead and keep putting gas/food in so you can function on the "outside"), or your selfish. And don't you dare break down on us, because if you do, you're a bad, unreliable girl/person". Now maybe not all women feel this way, but that's the message I felt growing up.

Well, when my husband decides to go and enjoy himself with a long planned camping trip, I'm going to take the first step in my life to do something by myself and not just sit around and wait around for his trip to be over. I've been so overly dependent upon him, and even now I feel hesitant going anywhere by myself (especially with the kids who love to run in opposite directions). I have never done anything on my own before. Every time I've at least gone somewhere with a friend or family member, or at least "met up" with a friend or family member, so this is a big step for me. The trip I've planned is a two night trip in Park City with just the kids and myself. Sure, you could say, "well, you're going with your kids!" but if you're saying that your obviously not mother, because it's easier to just take care of yourself instead of two more completely dependent persons! This makes me wish I had a little experience going solo.

My Aunt Karla from Scott's side, gave me the courage to do this one woman trip too since she's traveled to foreign countries, stayed in hostels and not once has gotten raped! I'm not vulnerable, I can do this (and I'll bring a taser just in case). The feminism of the movie Wonder Women helps too. I'll just imagine myself as a kick butt Amazon Princess who could take down any intimidating man I see (I really should have stuck to kickboxing). Gosh, I really seem pathetic, but anyway, I'm doing this! Sure, I have no idea who the heck "Tom" my host is, I've never done a Airbnb, I've never gone a trip before on my own, let alone a trip with the kids, but it'll not be too far away and I'm sure if "Tom" decided to kill me he'd get bad reviews and not be able to continue selling on Airbnb! And I'm sure most men aren't wanting to rape and kill women, right? I'm pretty sure we're just fed all those lies to keep us at home in fear/dependence and that the "bad guys" are way fewer than the "good/ok ones". Logically, only go out in day light, stick with crowds, stay in touristy areas, and you're fine (unless you have street smarts, then do your "thing" in the dark/abandoned streets!). I'm totally ok and will be fine doing this. Well, it'll be an adventure, and I'm on my road to a more balanced and self assured self, a thing everyone needs to work on and accomplish sometime in their lifetimes (you did it when you were four years old? Well, la de-da de-la!)

The kids and I will be staying in Park City at an Airbnb with a pool and hot tub, across from a spa, with quick access to the free bus/trolley into town! The spa across from our condo has a day care too, and I'm planning on taking two hours to take time for myself too between all the play and activities we do. One of the things we have planned is the ski lift in Town Lift Plaza. I remember the last time we went there it was so fun, so if the three of us can fit on one, we're totally doing the ski lift! We'll also definitely be eating some ice cream and some mountain fudge at either Java Cow Bakery or the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory. For other things planned, I'm still doing a little bit of research, but I'm sure we'll hike some trails, possibly have picnics and play in some streams! It seems like most of Trip Advisor's advice is for the winter, so we'll have some fun taking getting antiquated with the local brochures. I'm actually getting a little excited about this trip, and hopefully all goes well. I'll take a lot of pictures and blog all about it! Until next time!